On a balmy Friday afternoon at St. Anthony's high school, TBSevs got underway with a bang. Players arrived fast and furiously. Some notable absentees included two Whites, one Herg, one McShane, and one Farrelly. All in all, 14 players showed up to participate. After much mingling, stretching, and the last few moments of Thanksgiving digestion....it was finally time to choose teams.
Rules were clear: two teams, one game. First to ten wins. First down could be achieved at the halfway mark of the field No handoffs, one blitz per set of downs. One quarterback, five receivers, and one bench player for each play. Even the stupidest of players could understand. The honor of team captains went to Frank Giardina (Team Ants Marching) and Vince Young (Team I Did It.) The selected rosters were as follows....
Team Ants Marching
Giardina, F
Dooley, C
Herg, T
Farrelly, B
Regan, T
Canders, D
Vaz, T
Team I Did It
Young, V
Chiarenza, M
Tighe, M
Reilly, R
McShane, D
Silvia, J
Shaz, T
Giardina went with a stupendous blend of speed, height, and throwing ability. Young preferred sure-tackling brutes that would be a load to bring down. Which team would prevail was anybody's guess...all the players knew for sure was that it was time to play.
Team Ants Marching started with the ball by virtue of not getting the first pick. However, Team I Did It ended up getting both the first pick in the draft and the first pick of the game with an early interception. With a narrow field and plenty of traffic flooding the middle, it was an early indication that TBSevs would be unlike the offensive shootouts we've seen in the past.
Team I Did It would take advantage of the short field for an early 1-0 lead. From there the teams traded blows with some consistent offensive play. Each squad did it with a dual-quarterback system. Canders and Regan were huckin' it up for T.A.M, while McShane and Young manned the pocket for T.I.D.I.
Throughout the first half, the defense of T.I.D.I. had just a little more bend and less break than T.A.M, who were woefully susceptible to long bombs early in the game. Chiarenza, Silvia, and Shaz were hauling in long gains, while Dan McShane was slowly turning his brain into mashed potato with slants over the middle and subsequent violent tackles. With T.I.D.I leading early, the momentum appeared to swing swiftly and unexpectedly when an utterly-unguarded Vaz hauled in a long bomb for a touchdown. But, in going along with the TBSevs Code of Honor, T.A.M. revealed that they forgot to sit a player for that play, resulting in the unaccounted for player. It was a day where getting points taken off the board was a monumental setback.
All in all, halftime arrived with a 5-2 score in favor of Team I Did It. Among the players, merriment and meet-and-greet were shelved in favor of team strategizing. Well, at least that was the case for Team Ants Marching. While Captain Giardina had his team addressing their weaknesses and plotting their comeback, Captain Young was sipping on chardonnay and projecting an aura of invincibility.
The second half was a different story. The chuck n' huck offense of T.I.D.I. did not come nearly as easily as T.A.M stiffened on defense. Offensively, Ants Marching also finally realized they had a player 8 inches taller than anyone else on the field, as fades to Herg went off without a hitch. Interceptions and other offensive mistakes were turning Team I Did It's victory parade into a historic chokejob. Fast forward Perhaps out of desperation, perhaps out of savvy, perhaps out of open-mindedness, T.I.D.I. finally settled into an offense of short, consistent gains. The seemingly-out of nowhere comeback had the score at 9-8. With victory all-but at hand earlier in the game, Team I Did It now found themselves entertaining discussions of 'Win by 2?'
Luckily, that question would be moot. After some short gains down the field, Young connected with Tighe on the game-winning touchdown. The few fans in attendance were all let down because they all had a rooting interest in Team Ants Marching. However, they appreciated the quality of football they were given free of charge.
A second 'for-fun' game ensued, which quickly became the Chiarenza show. But more football was enjoyed nonetheless, and delicious Chipotle followed. The captains bid their teams adieu and TBSevs concluded. A great success and fantastic launching point to the 364 days until TBAte.
Some awards for the day...
MVP- Vince Young. Couple of touchdowns throwing/receiving. Also great at the cheerleader role in the style of Adam Morrison in a suit on an NBA bench waving a white towel.
The Ric Flair "Lemme at 'em, My Head Feels Fine!" Award- Dan McShane. Took some serious contact both tackling and being tackled. Who gives a damn if he knew what year it was while doing so?
Catch of the Game- Frank Giardina. A one-handed, left-handed snag on a ball going across the middle. Not only athletically impressive, but the 'boombox-style' grab and run reminded many of the great Marrone Interception of Turket Bowl V.
Washington General Award- Terrence Regan. The streak continues for the man in the green jersey. By no fault of his own, but he just can't shake the losing turkey off his back.
The Vanilla Chai Mouthguard Award- Bobby Farrelly. In desperate need of molding his newly-purchased protection, Farrelly was in a bind. Already exhausted from Wednesday night's ill-fated attempt to run across Long Island, he was a bit frazzled and incredibly late. In a bind, he purchased a cup of hot water from 711, paying in excess of $3. Maybe not the best-molded piece, but in 20 years when medical breakthroughs show we've been doing woeful long-term damage to our brains in the Turkey Bowls, Bob will have the last laugh. Though he will still be $3 poorer.
That's all I have. I don't remember much from the game itself. This can be edited and adjusted though, so shoot me any corrections or glaring things I missed. And hey, have fun out there.
-Tron
